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Perhaps he was actually a good Samaritan. Like he scanned around, spared the others, spared the children.”“Pissing on a child, that must be a sex offense. Chris Hanson shit...”“Chris Hansen.”“Hansen?”“Hansen.”“Marilyn Manson.”“Isn’t Marilyn Manson dead?”“No, Marilyn Manson is alive and pissing on people in Times Square.”“Marilyn Manson is pissing on children.”“It has to be a sex offense, pissing on children...”“Even by accident? Say you’re in a public bathroom, pissing in a urinal, and a crazy kid comes running in, accidentally runs into your stream, and you blast his snotty little face with your golden bladder juice. Fucking next thing you know, you’re in jail, getting shanked, getting your cheeks busted by a tatted-up Aryan Brotherhood gang member. Fuck...”“I’m using the stall from now on...”“Or did the piss originate from above? A balcony shooter. A roof shooter.”“The Oswald of Piss...”“A second shooter theory. One from nearby and one from above.”“Dude’s parents had. Apartments,President George Walker Bush had donned his pink tutu, his Miss Piggymask and his Farrah Faucett wig. He spoke in a regal, constrictedfalsetto, "Helleeew, yes! I am Princess of thee entire Ew-nee-verse, anda pretty, pretty peeg am I! Oh my!"On tiptoes he fluttered gracefully across the room, his wrists crossed above his head, enamored of the reflections he saw in the room's many tall mirrors. The pig face, the tutu, the ballet slippers and snow whitestockings, the pink ribbon tied around his dangling pecker in a lovelybow- he was indeed a vision of unsurpassed beauty!Now came the fun part. From a wire cage on the sink counter he plucked alarge white gerbil, holding the poor squirming animal by its stubbytail,"Ya know what happens now, my little friend-"The gerbil spoke, "Mister President, I am a magic gerbil. If you don'tput me up your ass I will grant you three wishes!" Huh?" asked the President crossly. He didn't like people interruptinghim, even if they was one.
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